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Joke of the Day

"Casual sex is like a math equation... You add the bed, subtract your cloths, divide your legs, and hope you don't multiply"

"Jesus drove a Honda but didn't talk about it... ""For I did not speak of my own Accord ..."" John 12:49"

"Ladies, when a creepy guy asks for your # and hands u his phone, text REDCROSS to 90999 so he'll donate $10 to Disaster Relief."

"""I love you. I love you. Pay attention to me. I love you. Ok I'm fed now. I HATE YOU DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!"" - Cats"

"What do you call a camel with no humps? *Humphrey!*"

"What do you call it when water is poured over a clock? Time dilution."

"you know what they say about beetroot. you can beat an egg but you can't beet a root."

"[Arouses Suspicion] Suspicion: I don't want to ruin our friendship."

"Which director is Hollywood's darling? Michael Bae"

"Did you hear about the bird that lost all of its feathers in a volcano? It was moltin'."