208801

Joke of the Day

"I order so much Chinese food the delivery guy must think I'm a middle aged divorced homicide detective in an 80s movie."

"My son complained to me that his yogurt was too soupy. I told him to suck it up."

"How do you get a sweet little old lady to say F***? Get another one to yell BINGO"

"I have an asian friend who always points out the obvious things I call him obvious lee"

"What did Anakin order from the Italian bakery? Only one cannoli."

"Wife: Are you gonna wear that to the cookout? Oh... *reaches under mesh shirt* *takes off nipple ring* Better?"

"Throwing acid is wrong.... in some people's eyes."

"Dentist: ok open up ""Well I guess it all started when my dad left..."" Dentist: no I mean- Assistant: wait bill...let him finish"

"Why are lemons yellow? They don't know it either - that's why they are so sour"

"/r/News Pyongyang FIFY"