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Joke of the Day

"When people's driving tweets end mid sentence, did the paramedics find their phone and hit send?"

"Guy: If u won lotto, what'd u get? Me: A cat sitter G: To take extra good care of Sox? M: *pictures a cat in a suit taking care of me* Yes"

"Have you guys heard of the movie constipation? No, that's because it hasn't come out yet."

"Two guys stole a calendar and divided it equally, but they got caught. They each got six months."

"What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower !"

"What is DJ Khaled's favorite number? 11, because it is another 1."

"What's Michelle's favourite vegetable? Barackoli (I'm sorry I'll leave now...)"

"What does a Mexican wizard use to cast magic? A Juand"

"What did the watch say when the necklace, earrings, purse and ring killed the shoes? I won't be an accessory to this."

"How did a hipster burn his mouth? Drank his coffee before it was cool"