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Joke of the Day

"What's black and slides down Nelson's column? Winnie Mandela."

"But Honey, if I stop eating this third bowl of Cap'n Crunch just because the roof of my mouth is bleeding, then the terrorists have won."

"Boss: Are you high? Me: If I was high could I do this? B: What? You aren't doing anything M: sorry I'm super high. What was the question?"

"Two Mafia hitmen are walking through the forest at night when one of them says ""I have to admit, it's pretty scary out here."" The other replies, ""You think this is bad? I have to walk back alone."""

"If you're riding a horse at full speed along side a giraffe and a lion is chasing you, what do you do? Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round. Props to the radio station I heard this on today."

"Every girl has 3 guys in her life: one she loves, one she hates, and the one she can't live without. But in the end, it's the same guy!"

"A British wizard walks into a gay bar... ...and disappears with a poof"

"One girl did a presentation in hittites and she went through while presentation... straight faced calling it ""high-titties"" everyone was losing it and she couldn't figure out why."

"Fun fact about Germany... Fooled ya... There's nothing funny about Germany"

"Nobody Likes This. I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This."