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Joke of the Day

"Two Mafia hitmen are walking through the forest at night when one of them says ""I have to admit, it's pretty scary out here."" The other replies, ""You think this is bad? I have to walk back alone."""

"Suicide Bomber They said, ""If you blow up the building, you'll get 72 virgins when you go to heaven!"" I said, ""How about I just vandalize it for 5 sluts right now?"""

"Was at the zoo and witnessed a monkey going to the bathroom. That shit was bananas."

"Finally came up with my new years resolution. I'm going to stop procrastinating!"

"I dont mind you texting during a movie as long as you dont mind me creeping in your bedroom at 3am & doing Gangnam Style w a pack of hyenas."

"I like long walks away from everyone"

"Is there such a thing as filthy clean? Let's take a shower together and find out."

"Bill Cosby was charged with sexual assault I guess the proof was in the pudding"

"What is the best way to pick up American girls? With a crane."

"you have heard ""A pint is a pound"" ... .. and that is a seriously high petrol price. I know. It's not that good. Nor even that funny. But it's coming. Happy Halloween."