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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the rabbi who lost his job after a botched circumcision? He got the sac."

"""Knock knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""KGB"" ""KGB who?"" *slap* ""We will ask questions!"""

"The melons Why did the melons get married in a church? Because they cant-elope."

"What do you call an Asian lady with a Mixmaster on her head? Brenda"

"What's the difference between my wife and the dress? The dress is white and gold"

"Don't forget the 3 most important factors in choosing the right words for a ubiquitous real estate mantra: Locution, locution, locution. *twitter: @chippedbeef*"

"Four Worst Feelings Ever: 4. Losing your job 3. Romantic break up 2. Death of a loved one 1. Needing to pee when you're stuck in traffic"

"What do you call a cocktail of iced tea and skittles? A trayvon martini. Yeah I thought that joke might GARNER some negative attention. It was a 1/5 joke. 3/5 with RICE."

"A little about me: I'm a beekeeper. I see a bee, I keep it. I don't care whose bee it is. Should have been watching it better."

"I've never gotten in a car accident whenever I'm drunk or high. So, statistically, based on the data, I am a worse driver when I'm sober. Now where's my whiskey?"