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Joke of the Day

"My friend hates carnival, but his new girl friend makes him go anyway He's so whipped, he might as well dress up as a Saudi Arabian blogger."

"What do you call that feeling when the bus finally arrives? a peasantfeeling"

"What do you call a cowshed in Arabic? A Mubarak"

"Kim Kardashian wore white at her wedding. That's it. That's the joke."

"You hear about these Islamic balloons? ... they blow themselves up."

"""Friends are a dime a dozen."" *pulls out a sack full of dimes* ""Sweet, I'll take 32 dozen friends please."""

"What do you call a man who cuts down trees? A tree feller."

"[aquarium exit] Excuse me ma'am, would you mind opening your bag? I beg your pardon?! OPEN YOUR BAG *opens bag and reveals two penguins*"

"Apple more profitable than Samsung still in 2015 Guess you could say they definitely out cell the competition."

"Before my girlfriend Boyfriend: Did you fart before my girlfriend? Man: I didn't know it was her turn."