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Joke of the Day

"I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot."

"A heartwarming conversation between a son and his father. Son: Dad do you remember your first blowjob? Dad: Ohhh yeah I do! Son: How did it taste? Dad: Get out."

"How do you stop a dog from biting you on monday? Kill the dog on sunday"

"My bucket list. 1. Buy bucket."

"A mugger jumps out in front of a university student... ...and shouts ""your money or your life!"" The student keeps walking, and says ""Sorry mate, I'm a Computer Science student. I don't have either""."

"You know it's cold outside... When you see a politician with their hands in their own pockets."

"Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"A Grizzly walked into a bar... It was horrible! Many people in the bar died painful deaths, survivors of the attack said the pain was ""un-bear-able""."

"When someone texts you k', just reply, ""L M N O P Q R S T you V W X why Z"""

"Read aloud and quickly: ""One smart feller, he felt smart"" Freudian slip?"