208514

Joke of the Day

"I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot."

"""Well well well."" - Me, answering three questions: 1.) How are you? 2.) What's your favorite adverb? 3.) Where'd you hide grandma?"

"I turn the radio down when I drive by cops so there's no evidence of fun."

"What did the super smart dude say to the moron?"

"Australia beat England in their matchup in the Rugby World Cup. I guess you could say the prisoners beat the guards."

"Michael Jackson to be recycled"

"*two minor inconveniences happen at the same time* me: *needs to lie down for 3 days*"

"Me: I didn't get anything this year. Do you think Santa's magic...is running out? Wife: Santa isn't real Me: Don't lie to save my feelings"

"Q: Why do drummers always have trouble entering a room ? A: They never know when to come in."

"What's the difference between a race car and a woman? One costs a lot of money to maintain, keep running, and give you the results you want. The other has four wheels."