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Joke of the Day

"Kid: Dad, a girl called me ugly, how long does ugly last.. Dad:Hey hun Mom:Yes? Dad: How old are you? Mom: 45 Dad:theres your answer kid"

"Damn girl, are you my cable remote? Because you are weirdly designed and very confusing, and does this row of buttons even do anything?"

"Some people look for a perfect relationship, but all I want is a cheeseburger that looks like the ones on commercials!"

"Went in for a prostate exam... I asked the doctor where I should put my pants. ""Right over there with mine""..."

"What is it about glow sticks that makes me want to dance in a field wearing fairy wings? If only I hadn't taken so many drugs I'd know this."

"How to sex: Boy: can I put my finger in your belly button Girl: sure Girl: that's not my belly button Boy: that's not my finger"

"Comas make a big difference in your sentences. For example, -Ben is in a hurry -Ben is in a coma"

"Leg Chat: What did the left leg say to the right leg? Q: What did the left leg say to the right leg? A: ""That one in the middle thinks he's hard."""

"I accidentally dropped one of my husband's Viagra into my contact solution and now I'm cockeyed."

"John Snow really knows the way to a guy's heart."