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Joke of the Day

"I went to kuwait, found no squirrels there.. No animal can sustain a burst of oil everytime they bury a nut."

"A man walks into a Japanese bar... he wants a vodka, so he walks up to the bar and asks the bartender for a Stoli the bartended replies, ""Once upon a time..."""

"What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me, I'm going in.."

"I just started a new band called 'Blankets and Duvets' We've already been called the best cover band of all time"

"What do you call Call Of Duty in the middle east ? Tuesday"

"I get SO ANGRY whenever I see someone with their wallet chained to their belt I can't fucking take it"

"who gave a dyslexic child a gift last christmas? Satan"

"Wait, I forget, what's the national pastime? Is it baseball or worrying about Jennifer Aniston's happiness?"

"I'm gonna start giving bad news to people in that cute, high pitched voice I use to talk to kids and dogs."

"In some people's eyes, throwing acid is wrong"