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Joke of the Day

"I'm gonna start giving bad news to people in that cute, high pitched voice I use to talk to kids and dogs."

"What do you call a ban-worthy girl A banshee"

"Two strips of film are talking in a bar One says to the other ""Why don't you and I go find a dark room and see what develops?"""

"What kind... What kind of vitamins pirates take? Vitamin ""D""."

"*wears reindeer antlers* *innocently smiles* *bats eyelashes* *steals your wallet*"

"Batman's identity revealed Batman was identified as Christian Bale Sunday when he didn't show up at church..."

"I'd rather be with a man who blows his load too soon rather than starts singing too soon in a song. How embarrassing for both of us."

"The girls who don't get a rose on The Bachelor should automatically get a cat."

"So my 10yr old & her friends were talkin about 'seizures' in class & this random kid yells out 'I LOVE their breadsticks!' Can I adopt him?"

"How to tell if you're girlfriend is TOO fat. When she sits on your face and you can't hear your stereo any more."