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Joke of the Day

"I carry a backpack full of receipts and gum wrappers and go through it while I'm at a cashier until someone who's frustrated pays for me."

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"I hope if I ever get taken in for questioning there's no algebra."
"What is the first thing a cannibal does after dumping his girlfriend? He wipes his ass."
"What do you call the act of giving annalingus on the back of a flying dragon? A Skyrimjob"
"Like a Boss - Employee Gets Owned! Boss: ""Send me one of your funny jokes."" Employee: ""I'm working at the moment. I will send you one later."" Boss: ""That was fantastic! Send me another one!"""
"I think I got crabs from an LGBT orgy last night... I must be having too many sexes."
"In honor of Kim and Kanye's baby ""North West"" I will be naming my first son ""Taco"""
"Irritable Bowel Syndrome is genetic. It runs in your jeans."
"If green gummy bears are strawberry flavored, what is the flavor of yellow gummy bears? PHLEGMon"
"With the announcement of Pence as Trump's running mate, it reminds me of a man running. With a dick out in front, and an asshole behind him."