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Joke of the Day

"Facebook tells me those vans are dangerous, but Twitter says they have candy. So conflicted."

"How many cops does it need to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black."

"Have you heard of that invention that lets you see through walls? Its called window.Mua^ha^ha^ha"

"Self Detonation is a real blast.. Or so I've heard.. C4 yourself."

"I want to open a gay poker bar. And call it ""The space of AIDS"""

"My neighbor's facebook movie is just a montage of me caught on surveillance video, stealing his newspaper every morning."

"I got into a heated debate with my friend about time travel... We really opened a can of wormholes."

"Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Gays are definitely from Saturn. You know the only planet chic enough to accessorize with a belt."

"Some days I'm more on than off, but most days I'm just a moron."

"""Poop"" is quite possibly the shittiest palindrome in the whole English language."