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Joke of the Day

"[orders pizza] Would you also like our cheesy bread, comes with sauce? Are you trying to sell me a side of pizza with my pizza? 2 please."

"You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen."

"A marathon runner walks into a bar.. The bartender says why the long race?"

"Why can't you trust a snowman? Because they're all a bunch of flakes"

"Stop editing ya'll pics. What if you go missing? how you expect us to find you if you look like beyonce on facebook & chief keef in person."

"What do you call a nun sleep walking? A roamin' Catholic"

"If marriage has taught me one thing in life, it's how to masturbate in bed without waking my wife up."

"What's the most popular song at the new Freddie Mercury night club? Dancing Queen."

"Skrillex used to play string instruments in the orchestra, until he dropped the bass."

"Chuck Norris doesn't own a can opener, he just chews through the can."