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Joke of the Day

"[orders pizza] Would you also like our cheesy bread, comes with sauce? Are you trying to sell me a side of pizza with my pizza? 2 please."

"You know as long as you keep babies well fed they're usually pretty good... But I like mine with a little BBQ sauce."

"My father was a nun... Whenever he was in court and the occupation was called for, he would say ""nun."""

"How many Kings of Spain abdicated last week? Just Juan"

"I don't like going to funerals early in the day. I'm not much of a mourning person."

"Did you know the triathlon was invented by a gypsy He walked to the swimming pool and rode a bike home"

"What did the neckbeard say to the mosquito? M'laria"

"New Immigration Policy Obama tells 5 million illegal immigrants: ""Come out of the shadows and register, or shovel out Ralph Wilson Stadium."""

"[On phone to police] Has there been a report of a pervert in the park? P: No, there hasn't. Me: oh good. [Goes back to hiding in bushes]"

"Decided to start ranking my favorite minority groups: so far Lithuanians have a lot of catching up to do."