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Joke of the Day

"How many Kings of Spain abdicated last week? Just Juan"

"Wanna hear a dirty joke? Two white stallions fell in the mud."

"I didn't know how to put this gently so I drew you a picture. That's you. Now, see the guy choking you? That's me."

"[catches your phone before it hits the ground] Whew, that was close! [smashes your phone against the wall] See, that could have happened."

"What's the difference between Trump and a pile of poop? A pile of poop is naturally brown."

"Waiter: black pepper? Me: sure Waiter: say when Me: [remembering I have large investments in numerous peppercorn plantations] haha sure"

"Did you blow bubbles when you were a kid? Because he's back in town looking for you."

"Picture the perfect woman. Wrong. You're a guy. You're always wrong."

"Did you hear about the Mexican man who went to the old people home to visit his grandpa? See senior."

"Want the secret to success? Want 2x the energy without having to diet? Want to add 20 years to your life? Want less shoulder hair? Me too."