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Joke of the Day

"How many cow-lories does a cheeseburger have? Moo many..."

"So I hear Lil Wayne is in critical condition. I think it has to do with his lungs... He's always been a lil weezy."

"Never hit a man while he's down... Kick him, it's easier."

"Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in."

"I had unprotected phone sex once... Now I have hearing aids."

"Lies I'll never stop telling: 1. I'd never put you in a home, mom. 2. It's 6 inches long. 3. I have no idea how the PC got a virus."

"I hit a parked car today so naturally I left a note. It said ""Die, Decepticons! Die!"""

"I beat a black belt at karate. My next challenger is a green sock."

"What did the nihilist say to the physicist? Nevermind, it doesn't really matter."

"Marriage: I gave sex up for this?"