188940

Joke of the Day

"So I hear Lil Wayne is in critical condition. I think it has to do with his lungs... He's always been a lil weezy."

"Therapist: So what happened in your last relationship? I lost him to addiction. Therapist: I'm so sorry. Drugs? Yes please."

"Why did Darth Vader get suspended from the Police? He was under investigation for excessive use of Force"

"[Walks into steam room at gym] ""good morning my.."" ""Dave no!"" ""my est.."" ""Please Dave no.."" ""..My eSTEAMed colleagues"" ""Everyone hates you"""

"An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. The bartender says ""Is this some kind of joke?"""

"Divorce is like hitting the reset button on Super Mario Bros except now you pay for the Princess's castle and hope Bowser kills you."

"What kind of fruit is also a vegetable? Elton John in a coma."

"""You have sexy calves."" -Pedophile bull"

"[Restaurant] Me: I know in your profile it said you were small but I didn[my date falls into her soup]"

"if you're in a sports bar but don't understand sports just keep repeating the phrase ""damn they gotta get him the ball."" everyone will agree"