20808

Joke of the Day

"Why are divorces so expensive? Because they're worth it."

"How does a Jew make tea? Hebrews it. -- How does a Jew make beer? --Hebrews Hops"

"My wife told me to take a spider out instead of killing it... We went out and had drinks. Cool guy, he wants to be a web designer."

"My parent's kitchen was designed with 11 light switches, all of which turn on the garbage disposal if you're trying to be quiet"

"Now I'm not saying you're old... but if you were milk I'd smell you before pouring you on my cereal."

"Now tell me how old your baby is in HOURS."

"I went to a cemetery today. The entire time I was there my phone didn't have any service. I must have been in a dead zone."

"Whats the hardest part about slaughtering a pig? He keeps saying ""I have a wife and kids, please don't kill me, I'm just doing my job"""

"Your sign says ""NO SHIRT, NO SHOES, NO SERVICE"", so it seems highly unfair that you kicked me out for not wearing pants."

"A long, romantic kiss... and then - She: I think I swallowed your gum. He: No, I just cleared my throat."