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Joke of the Day
"Now tell me how old your baby is in HOURS."
Next Joke
"Real men don't need guns. One time I beat a burglar to death with a sleeve of Ritz crackers and used the crumblings for a casserole crust."
"What's a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?"
"[First date] Ok, don't let her know you're a pharmacist Her: Can you pass the salt? ""Sure, it'll be ready in two hours."""
"Got in trouble with the wife at dinner time last night. Apparently when she asked me to turn on the veg, fingering her disabled sister isn't what she meant."
"How do you catch a rare rabbit? Unique up on it"
"Tear gas is the saddest gas."
"*flags down police car* how many mpg does this thing get?"
"Kid 1: I'm bored Kid 2: me too Kid 3: our parents gave us horrible names"
"What do you get when you mix gangsta rap and relational aesthetics? Albums released through California penal records."