20801

Joke of the Day

"What they say: ""Hey, have you lost weight?"" What they mean: ""Hey, I remember you being a lot fatter. What gives?"""

"What did Pac-Man say when he almost got run over? I'm Waka-Waka-Waka-Walking here!"

"I texted my girlfriend ""I love you"" and she texted back ""I love you more. When I went to respond I made a typo and sent ""I love you moist""....I figured why correct it, it's true too."

"How do you get a Warriors fan to stop masturbating? Paint his dick Cavaliers maroon and yellow."

"How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves? She fell out of the tree! I may not be a girl, but I'm blonde and find blonde jokes hilarious. xD"

"*answers phone call from boss* I TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING ME AT WORK!"

"""I think it's about time we had a white president"" - 8 year olds"

"Do you play volleyball? Because you look like your good on ur knees!"

"Brother-in-arms What did the russian soldier say when he held his newborn sibling in his hands for the first time? ""You're my brother in arms!"""

"I opened a new nightclub named 'Erectile Dysfunction'. It was a complete flop, nobody came."