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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I have a panic attack, I put a brown paper bag over my mouth...and drink all the vodka inside. It seems to help"

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"Neighbor: Help I have a plumbing emergency! Me: *grabs tools* Neighbor is naked and wet Me: um what kind of plumbing are we talking about?"
"What does a boy get every month, but a girl doesn't. A paycheck"
"what's the best part about being a man? no ."
"How many guys in IT does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to identify that the lightbulb has indeed burned out, and one to call the maintenence man to change the lightbulb."
"Did you hear Trump's children will be outside security advisors? Trump Don-un and Trump Don-il will serve our country well."
"actualy the childrens story ""the three litle pigs"" is the first documented report of a wolf WHO CAN BREATHE HURICANES"
"So Tim Tebow just hit a home run in his first professional at bat But he had no idea what to do once he got to third base."
"My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell today! Technically he said, 'Less McDonalds' but I'm pretty sure I knew what he meant."
"What's the best part about getting AIDS You can only catch it once."