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Joke of the Day

"If someone gave me a dollar for every woman I ever satisfied... I'd owe them 5 bucks"

"My date asked me to tell her a Star Trek joke.... ...and I said ""Who do you think I am, CleVar Burton?"""

"Why is modern wheat supperior to old wheat? it's bred and better!"

"I don't care how awesome the Internet is...if we don't have hover boards, then we are not in the future."

"Why did the snail draw an ""S"" on the side of his car? So that when he drove by people could say, ""Look at that escargot!"""

"POLISH JOKE WHAT DO YOU CALL A PIMPLE ON A POLISH GUYS ASS? A: A BRAIN TUMOR"

"JESUS: I shall turn water to wine JUDAS: Actually wine is 85% water so that's only 15% miracle JESUS: This is literally the WORST betrayal"

"My preferred method of birth control is ""mood-killing repetitive DVD menu."""

"Why is a burning candle like being thirsty ? Beacause a little water ends both of them !"

"Hell yeah I want your website to play music without warning or a mute button!"