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Joke of the Day

"Why did the snail draw an ""S"" on the side of his car? So that when he drove by people could say, ""Look at that escargot!"""

Next Joke
 
"You know you've had too much to drink when you ask Siri to drive you home."
"A guy I work with farted on the elevator... It was wrong on so many levels."
"Me: For Christmas I want a girlfriend/boyfriend Santa: Let's be realistic lol"
"Ground control to Kerbal III, how willing would you be to share your proximity to the equator? We have zero inclination."
"*strips off clothes, stands on desolate highway holding sign saying ""Last Naked Guy For 75 Miles"""
"What is a Redneck virgin? A 7-year-old that can run faster than her brothers!"
"When the picture of the vampire's grandmother crashed to the floor in the middle of the night what did it mean? That the nail had come out of the wall."
"Hear the one about the miscarriage? I overheard it yesterday. The joke was funny but the delivery was all wrong"
"They found Richard III's skeleton in a parking lot. Time stamp on the ticket stub indicates he owes $8,432,773."