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Joke of the Day

"Study shows 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile. Not me, though. I live next door to 2 really hot middle school girls."

"If a transvestite goes missing... Should we put their picture on a carton of half and half?"

"I just had to add ""velociraptor"" to my Microsoft Word dictionary because apparently I missed the dinosaurs expansion pack or something."

"I think Facebook is ruining my life. I'm going to log off and I'm not coming back...for at LEAST an hour!"

"I'm disappointed. I check reddit after last night's episode of TWD *SPOILER* and I don't see a single joke about Bob's Burgers."

"HER: let's be open about how we really feel. I'll go first I love you. ME: Ok well... I really, really, don't want Naruto to end HER: wtf?"

"They laughed at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian... They're not laughing now."

"How do you surprise a blind man? Stick a plunger in the toilet"

"I need to start paying closer attention to stuff. Found out today my wife and I have separate names for the cat."

"Like most people my age, I'm 23. ."