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Joke of the Day

"What should we call it when a man is beautiful? ""Footseveral?"" No but I feel like you're on the right track"

"I entered my 10 best puns into a joke competition, hoping they'd win ... No pun in ten did"

"If I am ever killed by a koala bear, I hope whoever finds me just tells people I was killed by a bear"

"How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose? 10 little piggies, 2 calves, a beaver, an ass, some hares, and a fish that no one can seem to find."

"What does a drowning person looks like lol"

"*getting married Priest: will you love & honor her? Me: I will Her: [whispers to priest] Priest: and leave your phone unlocked? Me: I'm out"

"Yeah, hi, I'd like 500 pizzas over the course of the next 10 years delivered to wherever I am in the world, thanks."

"You want to urge someone to do something ASAP, when do you use ""come to"" instead of ""come on""? come to me..."

"I don't have to be attractive. I am an asshole. Women swarm to me."

"My wife said to me: ""If you won the lottery, would you still love me? I said: ""Of course I would. I'd miss you, but I'd still love you"