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Joke of the Day

"WHERE MY INTROVERTS AT? [a few people shuffle their feet & pretend to check their phones]"

"Did you hear about the magic tractor? It drove down the road and turned into a field"

"The Subjunctive mood is pointless. If I were to create a language, I wouldn't include it."

"I asked my pusher for something to burn that would get me stoned. He gave me the Koran."

"*lights a scented candle in my house *gets texted 500 miles away from my mother Please watch those candles"

"Incognito mode on google chrome is useless.. Everyone in the library can still see me wanking"

"I don't see why we're worried about running out of resources. I mean, how many people can there be in the world? Like a million?"

"They say if you choose a job you love, you'll never work a day in your life. I have to work tomorrow."

"I couldn't use my phone at the funeral home it was a dead zone."

"Why couldn't the dolphin choose a career? She had no sense of porpoise."