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Joke of the Day

"They say if you choose a job you love, you'll never work a day in your life. I have to work tomorrow."

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"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friends Inside of a dog, it is warm and moist."
"What are eukaryotes' least favorite subject in school? Algaebra..."
"Give a woman an inch and she probably won't call you back."
"Damn girl are you a cougar? No, I am a feminist, sexual harassment lawyer with a microphone hidden under my blouse."
"Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space? To find Pluto."
"Kermit and Miss Piggy are in bed and Miss Piggy says ""Kermit what are you going to do to my asshole tonight"" Kermit replied ""Rippit""."
"Donald Trump walks into a bar and lowers it"
"My gf got into a car accident today... I take public transportation so I don't also get rear ended by strangers."
"If my kids knew there was a light in the oven, they'd leave that one on too."