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Joke of the Day

"Mini-Skirt Speech My speech today will be like a mini-skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold your attention!"

"So Jesus walks into a hotel... Jesus walks into a hotel and hands the receptionist 3 nails. He asks the receptionist, 'Could you put me up for the night?'"

"What do you get when you make a train engine happy? Locomotivation"

"Kinky is when you bring a feather into the bedroom. Perverted is when you bring the whole chicken."

"If Bernie gets elected we should give him an honorary military rank. Colonel sounds right to me."

"And then the lord said...... ...come forth and you shall be granted eternal life...But i came fifth and won a toaster instead! Which is cool because i did not have a toaster"

"Drunk girls would be amazing lawyers if they cared about laws & freedoms as much as they cared about trying to convince people they're sober"

"No matter what amazing things you accomplish or how fantastic you are, a cat will always think it is better than you."

"What does a subatomic duck say? ""Quark!"""

"if you can get a price tag onto a priceless jewel they have to sell it to you for that price, it's a simply trick that saves on heist work"