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Joke of the Day

"Thinking about having kids? Buy a plant. If you can keep it alive for 18 years, hopefully you're too old to have kids by then."

"What do you say when leaving the Periodic Table of Elements' police station? Cu Copper."

"At midnight in the graveyard You can come across a grave with the name Billy McCrackin. If you go to the grave just after midnight and say ""Billy, What are you doing?"" He will say Nuthin'"

"Why did Hannibal invade Rome? [OC] Well it was kinda hard to avoid, what will all roads leading there and what not."

"[In this tweet spoons fall in love harder than anyone] ""My darling I am a spoon for you, you fill my world with frogs"" [and frogs are joy]"

"What's the difference between a pill and my penis? A pill can achieve an erection."

"I love people I can get weird with."

"Why did the mermaid wear SeaShells? Because she outgrew her B-Shells. Ha..."

"Saw this advert in a window... It said ""television for sale,$1,volume stuck on full"".I thought,""I can't turn that down"""

"He thought I wore a size two. A size two?! I started laughing so hard, I spit out the donut I was eating."