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Joke of the Day

"*hands note Boss: *reading* 'Please excuse my son from' Ridiculous! You're working! *thinking* I practiced my Mom's signature for nothing"

"I found my first gray pubic hair today. It was in my Big Mac"

"A friend of mine told me that sex after a vasectomy would hurt. But to be honest I haven't noticed a vas deferens."

"Don't be offended if I speak to you condescendingly. Be happy that I care enough to be sure your simple mind understands what I'm saying."

"Careful, friends. [bends down and examines a handprint in the sidewalk] There is a very powerful child nearby."

"Confucius Say Women who fly plane upside down have crack up."

"A drop of roof water hit my face and I reacted like it was liquid herpes."

"A woman gets breast implants made of wood.. Too bad this joke doesn't have a punchline, it would probably be funny. Wooden tit?"

"Robin Hood went to see a doctor... ...he was diagnosed with Menintightis."

"This one time in high school I was called to the front of the class while I had hardest boner I ever had. It was the only time I thanked God for giving me a micro penis."