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Joke of the Day

"It has been brought to my attention that people stickers on car windows are NOT pedestrian kills,but family members. Removing mine ASAP."

"Facebook should add a hug and kiss button that way people can have a little foreplay before getting poked."

"What do you call a man with three arms and a pegleg? I have no idea because the actual joke is always in the comments."

"Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump get into a car accident. Who survives? America"

"I have a talent for only attracting people I have no interest in dating."

"As we develop robots, we should make them out of pretzels or cotton candy that way if they become self aware we could just eat them"

"I invented a new joke today I invented a new word today Plagiarism"

"Top Four Signs of Job Security: 4. Promotions and raises 3. Specialized skills 2. Top producer 1. Compromising photos of the boss"

"I also wanted to post a hydraulic press video... ... but your mom was busy."

"Allergy alert: This tweet may contain peanuts."