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Joke of the Day

"Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump get into a car accident. Who survives? America"

"(Amazingly, an original joke!) Where will they put Deadmau5 when he dies? In a Mau5oleum!"

"I like guys marrying my sister like I like my pinata coladas Full of rum! (Currently attempting to write a best man speech for my soon to be brother in law)"

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."

"Maybe if I took my problems to the gym they'd work themselves out."

"Did you hear about the Puerto Rican secretary who was getting so experienced she could type twenty mistakes a minute?"

"Oh, you hate when guys stare at your boobs? You should call the police and report the person who ripped your top three buttons open then."

"We should teach North Korea a lesson and send them James Franco."

"When dealing with the police it's important to always remain calm and be white."

"Did you hear about all the students who are using brake fluid to get high? The teachers aren't too worried about it. The students can stop anytime."