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Joke of the Day

"As we develop robots, we should make them out of pretzels or cotton candy that way if they become self aware we could just eat them"

Next Joke
 
"Wife: I'll just have a salad. Waiter: and for you, sir? Me: I'll be giving her half of my food."
"An old lady at the bank asked me if I could help her check her balance. So I pushed her over."
"I feel sorry for all the responsible bulls out there minding their own business and just looking to buy some nice china."
"My mate Dave drowned... For his funeral, we got a wreath in the shape of a life saver. It's what he would've wanted."
"I like to take candy from a kid cause sugar is bad for them. Then, I eat it in front of them while saying, ""don't do this"""
"Why did the feminist fail algebra? She couldn't solve inequalities."
"I woke up last night and there was an enormous black coffin at the end of my bed. So I gave him a cough-drop and told him to fuck off."
""" Could you explain to me why I woke up this morning with a cucumber up my ass? "" My wife screamed. "" Could you explain to me,"" I yelled back, "" Why you didn't wake up when I put it there? """
"Who turns the lights off at halloween ? The light's witch !"