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Joke of the Day

"It sucks when someone cuts you off in traffic and you have to catch up to them & throw a perfectly good cup of coffee at their windshield."

"A 1911 and a Glock walk into a bar.. The 1911 says to the Glock: ""Hey, ugly foreigner, want to do a drinking contest?"" The Glock says ""You old idiot, you can only last 8 rounds!"""

"Me: Where the hell are you going with those balloons? 4yr: I need to wee! Me: With balloons?! 4yr: Its so much fun to wee with balloons"

"When you watch Jersey Shore, Darwin cries."

"For every upvote this gets, my girlfriend and I will try one thrust of anal sex. Please don't upvote. Her strap-on is huge."

"While filling out a survey, I came across the gender option: Canadian... I guess you could say I'm Eh-Sexual."

"3 am phone call, ""Hey, are you asleep?"" Nope, Im skydiving."

"Your heart! *bursts out laughing* It's an inside joke."

"What is the difference between a man and a dog? A man wears a suit and the dog, pants."

"Every time I'm the only black person at a party I think: ""Wow. I helped them make quota."""