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Joke of the Day

"I don't get why people say ""They were busting their ass""? Wasn't it already cracked to begin with?"

"#ThoughtsInMyHead 1. How much wine can a cat drink? 2. How do you resuscitate a drunk cat? 3. Will they do an autopsy on a dead cat?"

"Sometimes I wake up feeling like I figured something out, only to realize it was gibberish. My latest invention was ladders on airplanes."

"How do you know you're not logged into reddit? There are /r/atheism posts on the frontpage"

"Looks like my wife snuck a love note into my pocket which is pretty cute, although I don't know what ""DNR"" means."

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Zero, feminists can't change anything."

"I just quit my job, I couldn't work for my boss after what he said to me He told me that I was fired"

"How does an octopus go to war? Well-Armed"

"This jokes so dark, it's not welcome in South Carolina He:Babe Come Over She:i'm Playing Arkham Knight He: My Parents arent's home She:neither Are Batmans"

"How do you make a candle really happy...? Blow it out, it'll be delighted"