207291

Joke of the Day

"I'm losing followers two by two. Maybe they are all boarding an ark somewhere."

"What has 3 balls and flies through space E.T the Extra Testicle I know this was awful I'm sorry"

"Why did the semen cross the road? I wore the wrong sock today."

"What's a cannibal's favourite type of food? Finger food!"

"Just found out a spider's been living in my shower. Just hanging out. Quietly. Watching me. So, long story short, I HAVE A NEW BOYFRIEND!"

"[I wake up next to a fishing net full of salmon] But that means... [Cut to fisherman at sea, with my dreamcatcher full of howling goblins]"

"As there aren't any female leprechauns, where do leprechauns come from ~ something to ponder every St Patrick's Day"

"What was Hitler's favourite aquatic animal? Adolfin."

"Me: I'll take another drink. Bartender: Would you like for me to call you a cab sir? Me: No it's cool he's driving * points at chair*"

"Me: Where's your maternity section? Her: Over there. How far along is she? Me: Her? I'm shopping for my Thanksgiving pants. Her..."