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Joke of the Day

"Me: Where's your maternity section? Her: Over there. How far along is she? Me: Her? I'm shopping for my Thanksgiving pants. Her..."

"How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. They are very efficient and don't have much of a sense of humor."

"What's Hitlers least favorite planet? Jewpiter."

"use words like 'perpendicular' when you language at people so they think you is good with vocabularying"

"Why didn't the gunpowder plot work? Because gunpowder is black."

"My hobbies include but are not limited to getting drunk and commenting ""LOL"" on relationship statuses on Facebook."

"Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question...... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard."

"A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre So he gives her one."

"What did they find floating in the toilet of the S.S Enterprise? Captains Log"

"DADT repeal is causing apprehension and high expectations among the military's top brass The navy, in particular, is eagerly awaiting a flood of fresh seamen."