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Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: where do ya see yourself in 5yrs Me: going through a Denny's trash bin I: but you might get this job M: haha that's... irrelevant"

"What's so good about an Ethiopian blow job? You know that she will definitely swallow"

"Katie Price's first task in Celebrity.... Katie Price's first task in Celebrity Big Brother is to not get pregnant or married in the next three weeks."

"The teacher asked... - ""Why did you bring your cat today Jimmy?"" - He replied, crying, ""Because I heard my daddy tell mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy once Jimmy leaves for school!'"""

"A man goes into a library and asks for a book on euthanasia. The librarian says, ""I'll do my best to assist you""."

"If Donald Trump wins I'm going back to Africa For some political stability.."

"Why is it the worst for Stevie Wonder when stopped by the police? He doesn't know why they're beating him to death"

"I've been told I'm not ambitious enough. If only there was an olympic sport for being a lazy bastard. That bronze medal would be mine."

"How do mesquite trees get taller? They stand on their mesqui-toes!"

"*murderer looking for me* Murderer: I'm just a poor boy nobody loves me... Me under bed: *cry sings* He's just a poor boy from a poor family"