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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a bear with no teeth ? A gummy bear"

"I can't find my lucky sweatpants. Now I'm going to totally bomb this job interview."

"How do dogs like their eggs cooked? Pooched."

"I'm so poor I can't even pay for my own consequences."

"My ex-wife still misses me BUT HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER! HER AIM IS GETTING BETTER! Ya see its funny because marriage is terrible."

"So my girlfriend came over and wanted breakfast So I offered her my personal salami and if she tried hard enough she could get some dipping sauce as well"

"Apparently a good way to get asked to leave the gym is to move a treadmill behind a guy on a stationary bike and pretend you're angrily chasing him."

"How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb? 1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'"

"I think I'll design something cool, get a bunch of people to like it, and then make it steadily worse with every update. Oops, been done."

"Why couldn't Arnold Schwarzenegger run for president? Because he doesn't do cardio."