20709

Joke of the Day

"I am not sure if I need to get beat up, broke as hell and drive a P.O.S car to get a hot girlfriend. Because that's all I see, ugly is the new hot!"

"What do you call a girl without arms and legs? A fuck nugget"

"I joined a poker tournament with a bunch of people who do origami. I'm gonna dominate, cause these guys always fold."

"My grandma can't wrestle But you should see her box."

"Standing behind a lady at Home Depot. Heard her ask for suggestions for tools to buy her grandson who was studying to be a quantum mechanic."

"I applied for a job as a suicide bomber. I said I have no previous experience, they didn't seem to mind."

"What did one math book say to the other math book? You've got problems."

"*hot lady looks at me* Me: Hi! Do I know you? Lady: No I think I'm mistaken. *awkward pause* Me: So...is there a mister taken? *hit by bus*"

"I have been working on some jokes about Parkinson's disease. But the punch lines are all a bit shakey at best."

"Feminist are like sleeper agents Both have trigger words."