207022

Joke of the Day

"I went to the zoo the other day. It was empty, except for a single dog... It was a shih tzu :)"

"Have a very Joseph Christmas! We shouldn't discriminate by sex, you know."

"What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot? A bite in shining armor."

"My husband doesn't like it when I say we are ""married"" with quotation marks."

"*cocks gun* Me: ""Go ahead."" Horse: ""Just be cool, man."" Me: ""DRINK."" Horse: ""No problem. It's just a stupid expression."""

"They could of at least added a middle finger emoji on iOS7."

"I have a bomb. EDIT: This blew up."

"I don't know why people dislike roman Numerals. I, for one, like them."

"Nine months from now we'll have an adorable, pooping reminder of The Night the Internet Wasn't Working."

"I've discovered the best way to get attention is to sit on the coffee table and meow loudly."