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Joke of the Day

"Times are tough, jobs are scarce, I know I don't have the greatest body, but for you single ladies, I'll gigolo if the price is right. . ."

"I opened the window... And influenza."

"Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. The piano player can do that with his left hand."

"'This is the greatest thing since sliced bread!' Sliced bread peeks around corner, tears streaming, it was in the tv room & heard EVERYTHING"

"If The Dark Side Of The Moon had tracks 3 and 5 removed The album would be timeless, but there wouldn't be any money in it."

"How to tell if a programmer is gay. C : ENTER : ### / Edit: Nifty Code Formatting"

"Planning on starting a restaurant called 'Cobalt 60'. Food will obviously be something to die for."

"A dick has a sad life. His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him."

"How much lube does the Hamburglar need to fuck his kinky girlfriend? About a quart to pound her with cheese."

"Two magic beans... Two magic beans are in a court house. One of them wants a restraining order against the other. The reason? He's bean stalking her"