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Joke of the Day

"What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? ""Where's my tractor."""

"Guy at the park who just put out his cigar and started doing tai chi is my new fitness guru."

"I found a rock yesterday which measured 1760 yards in length. Must be some kind of milestone."

"I try contributing to society but it keeps insisting I take it back."

"If you didn't get called to a meeting with your 5-yr-old son's principal because he was inviting girls to his ""naked party,"" you aren't me."

"Somewhere, a real Nigerian prince is sitting at his computer wondering, ""Why oh why does nobody reply to my emails?"""

"Nice guys finish last, cause stamina."

"Why is it quicker to build a snowman than a snowwoman? It takes too long to hollow out her head. (I got this one from my uncle)"

"I asked my wife for the newspaper I said to my wife, ""Get me a newspaper."" ""Don't be silly,"" she replied, ""you can borrow my iPad."" The spider didn't see that coming."

"How to Fall Down the Stairs Step 1 Step 3 Step 7, 9, 11, 13"