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Joke of the Day

"Rihanna was going to tweet about the Ebola crisis. Unfortunately Chris Brown beat her. Edit: unnecessary words"

"What is a Mathematician's favorite thing to drink? Root beer. (tbh: found on a Laffy taffy wrapper)"

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder my ass. I haven't been on Myspace in years and I still think it fucking sucks."

"So Donald Trump wakes up in the White House one morning..."

"Genetically modified fruit never ceases to amaze me. Check out this unnaturally large melon. Ah, it's not a melon. It's a grape."

"Your greatness is measured by the font-size of your obituary."

"Thanks, student loans, for getting me through school I don't think I could ever repay you"

"What do you call a slippery book? Non-Friction"

"Why do they call it PMS Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken"

"When someone posts ""Hmmm. That was interesting..."" as their status on FB, I never ask what they're talking about because it never is."