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Joke of the Day

"Everytime I see a chinese guy, I always think I've seen him somewhere else. - a tourist in Shanghai or anywhere in the world."

"Imagine that you were tired of living in a police state and decided to leave Russia for good a while ago, and bought a small house in Crimea."

"Went to the doctor I told him everytime I have sex I cry. He explained it's from the mace."

"Who was Mobutu's father? Mobu One"

"[gynecologist making small talk during an exam] DOCTOR: So you're in the military? HER: Yes DOCTOR: Well thank you for your cervix"

"If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love? The Swallow"

"I've never been booed off stage. I've never been booed off stage! Sure, I've been booed on stage plenty of times... but never off stage. In honor of Mitch Hedberg. RIP."

"I bought a cheese grater for my blind uncle. He said it was the most violent thing he ever read."

"Why can't Barbie get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a separate box."

"Doctor: You appear to have potassium poisoning. Mario: But I've avoided bananas my whole life!"