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Joke of the Day

"What do a burnt pizza, frozen beer, and a pregnant girl have in common? Someone didn't pull it out in time."

"50% of Asians have cataracts. The other 50% drive rinkins."

"My dog jumped in the washing machine yesterday. Don't worry, at least he died in comfort."

"Men live better than women. First of all, they get married later and secondly, they die earlier."

"""What? Huh? Talk louder. Nope, still nothing."" -5 minutes after receiving the deaf penalty"

"Pretzels Two pretzels were walking down the street. One got assaulted."

"My sex life is like my credit card. It expired a long time ago."

"I will let someone cut the line I'm waiting in, but only if they let me braid their hair from behind."

"How do you save a Republican from drowning? Take your foot off of their head."

"I like my women like I like my coffee... Black and ground up in the freezer."