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Joke of the Day

"My doctor won't go away. I know what you're thinking but he has been eating small pieces of apple over many decades to build up an immunity."

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"If you ever have to go through job applications, throw half of them away randomly You don't want to hire anyone unlucky"
"Dancing at the Party by Hans Neesanboompsadaisy"
"Alexa, take down my Christmas decorations."
"If you're having trouble with using the correct your/you're, just use ""ur"" because ur a retard."
"what do you get when you mix a penis with a bug A cockroach"
"""I trust that guy about as far as I can throw him."" -The Incredible Hulk, about a guy he trusts a lot"
"I went for a swim with my daughter... I felt a warm pocket of water in the waves and yelled at her ""Did you just pee in the ocean!?"". ""No"" she said ""the seaweed"" True story."
"When is it alright to spit in a muslims face It never is"
"What do mechanical keyboards want for dinner? Chicken ticka ticka ticka masala"