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Joke of the Day

"A barman is complaining about all the weird customers he's been getting lately... Then a half naked man walks in with a huge number 19 tattooed on his body. ""There... that's a prime example"""

"Why is the gay rights movement succeeding? The message is loud and queer."

"I never let people borrow my shoes, because if they walk a mile in them they'll know how much I exaggerate my problems."

"If you met an eel in a top hat... ...that would be Sir Eel. (say it out loud)"

"I'm convinced that those at work who drum on every available surface incessantly killed things as a child."

"I just embarrassingly ripped my pants open while bowling. Getting a split means something entirely different to me now."

"So what if Putin fudged election So ve it"

"Did you hear about the new Jewish Sports Car? It stops on a dime then picks it up."

"Nice try, people that invite me to things that aren't in my house"

"The worst part about spring... Getting sued by the Fine Brothers for having an allergic reaction."