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Joke of the Day

"Listen guys, if a 5yo comes up to you and asks if it's true that zombies won't eat kids who eat their broccoli, BACK ME UP, DAMN IT."

"How many bugs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, as long as they can find a way in."

"What's the best way for a lady to read 50 Shades of Grey? To flick through it as fast as possible."

"IF YOU KIDS DON'T COME BACK TO THIS TABLE AND FINISH YOUR LUNCH RIGHT NOW, I SWEAR I WILL SIGH HEAVILY, EAT IT MYSELF AND GAIN 3 POUNDS."

"What is Meghan Trainor's favorite instrument? A double quarter pounder with cheese."

"Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth... Then it's a soap opera."

"I like my women like I like my cold meats In-bread"

"I would make a joke about your mom but cows are holy in India"

"Hey did you hear about the chameleon that couldn't change color? It had a reptile dysfunction"

"What was the Jewish child doing on the chimney? He was waiting for his parents."