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Joke of the Day

"How do you stop volcanoes from erupting? Give them earth control pills*!* heh heh heh..."

"I'd like to have a kid but I'm not sure I'm ready to spend ten years of my life constantly asking someone where their shoes are."

"Life is short, which means it can't get on any of the cool rides."

"A cannibal ate an optimist once He couldn't quite keep him down."

"Why do Canadians prefer their jokes in hexidecimal? Because 7 8 9 A"

"So a man comes in a bar Er, no, wait, I meant a horse. So a man comes in a horse..."

"I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I have it."

"Why do Mexicans walk around school like they own the place? Their dads built it and their moms clean it."

"If John Lennon made a rap song today It would go... I'm in love with the Yoko! Them other Beatles thinking oh no! Now they wanna go solo! But no one give a fuck about Ringo!"

"Why do rappers make bad carpenters? Because they measure 5.5 to 6 inches as 8 to 13 inches."